“After months of successful testing and customer feedback”, Taco Bell unleashed their wonderfully innovative new breakfast menu, including an AM version of the Crunchwrap and Grilled Taco. Pretty much everything that Taco Bell does is forward-thinking, but two types of “Waffle Tacos”? Come on, you guys could’ve come up with a better name. Like, “Waffles Locos” or something. How can you go all out with a new breakfast menu and give the most interesting item such a generic name? You could at least take the Dominique Ansel approach and call it a “Waffco”.
Something as decadent as a Waffle taco (a fluffy waffle with fluffy eggs and bacon or sausage, and a side of table syrup) definitely has a calorie-count that’s through-the-roof, right? Not so fast. Reviewing the official Taco Bell nutrition chart, the Waffle Taco is actually on the LOWER end of the spectrum. The bacon variety has a total of 320 calories, but fully half of those calories are from saturated fat (in other words, still incredibly unhealthy). I didn’t expect the most hazardous item on the menu to be the 12-pack Cinnabon Delights (at 930 calories, 480 from sat fat). This was a frightening realization. I could easily see myself putting those bad boys away, as if they were donut holes. (It’s a tricky practice, using “Delight” in a fast food menu. The inclusion of “light” works subliminally, inferring that these will somehow be easier on the waistline. Whereas “Doritos Locos” is pretty straightforward.)
The buzz surrounding Taco Bell’s foray into the breakfast game has been bolstered by the awesome “Ronald McDonald” campaign. Taco Bell paid real-life Ronald McDonalds to endorse their breakfast menu, with excellent results: It’s jarring to realize that, after all these years, McDonald’s hasn’t managed to produce ANY marketing campaigns that were even HALFWAY humorous, at least in my lifetime. McDonald’s consistently plays it safe, and any levity is purely coincidental. If Taco Bell is picking a fight with a reigning “King” of fast-food breakfast, it’s for a title that was quite possibly undeserved in the first place. It’s obvious that Mickey D’s won at a numbers game, and in this case, I’m rooting for the underdog.